By Mike Fox
Marriage is not important to others
A lot of people are so busy doing so many things that they don’t even have time to spend with their spouse. They are getting pulled in separate directions by friends, family, work, church, etc. They might not even realize it until it is too late.
It is important if you are married that you continue to work vigorously to stay close and avoid the temptation of separate lives in your relationship. Make sure that you spend quality and quantity time together. While it is easy to fall into the trap of simply “counting the time” to put into your relationship, you must ensure that the time is actually considered “quality time”.
Choose your friends wisely. Don’t have close relationships with people who are constantly talking negatively about their spouse or downing marriage in general. You can even let these people know in a positive way that you are happy with your spouse and you really do not appreciate negative chatter about your spouse, your marriage, etc. If you do not laugh at their jokes, they won’t keep telling them to you. If so-called friends are any friends at all, and they behave that way, they will respect you and your marriage.
Don’t let anyone or anything come in between you and your spouse. This includes friends, family, hobbies, goals, lifestyle, dreams and ambitions, co-workers, etc. Remember that your spouse is the only one that you made a vow to love and to cherish as long as you both shall live.
Speak good to me!
Also be careful how you speak to others about your spouse. Don’t joke about them or put them down in front of other people. This will hurt your spouse even if they are not there. Your words really do have power – either to kill or to give life.
How you talk to and about your spouse and your marriage will generally dictate the direction of your marriage.
If you talk trash, or negative all the time about your relationship, well… you get what you want. One book said that your tongue is like the rudder on a ship and a bit in the horse’s mouth. Your words will literally “steer” your direction. So, if that’s truly the case, speak “life!”
Deal with it!
When you have a misunderstanding, try to focus on just dealing with the issue. Do not resort to personal attacks, name-calling, and other negative ways of communicating. This will make them feel like they are not important to you and that you don’t care what they have to say. When they are talking, try really listening to what they are trying to say, even more than the actual words in many cases.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
We really do need to fight for our marriages. An article recently said that the institution of marriage is dying.
We need to have more happily married couples; not just “married” but “happily” married couples. We desperately need couples who will stand and fight for marriage, both their marriage and marriage in general.
If you are happily married let everyone know it. If you are not happily married, talk to your spouse and work on resolving the issues and re-creating the romance in your marriage so that you can be happily married.
If you need extra help in your marriage, try reading some of the many helpful books on marriage or you could go to a marriage conference. If you feel that the two of you cannot work it out on your own, it may help to see a marriage counselor or a marriage coach. Do whatever it takes to get your marriage on track and where you want it to be, so that you can proudly say that you are not just married, but that you’re happily married.