He stated that, even after he married, he privately struggled with this addiction.
In an attempt to break the habit, he drove to a dumpster in the middle of the night and threw away his porn collection—but later that night he got back in the car, drove back to the dumpster, and gathered it all back up.
Ultimately, he confessed this addiction to his wife and, together, they have overcome it and he says he has been free of that bondage for years.
I relate to Kirk Franklin, for this is a bondage I too had since around the same age. It became intensified by the age of 12, when I was hanging in the streets with prostitutes and hustlers.
I tried so hard to do what was right and somehow would rationalize that all my “good works” in other areas would make it right.
I was wrong.
I never talked to anyone about it until last summer. I didn’t know how to begin to admit it, especially among Conservatives, who tend to be far more harsh and unforgiving towards each other of any ‘known sin‘, even as we all have sins we might struggle with privately.
It was also clear that the Lord was not going to put me in a higher level of responsibility in the body of Christ and ordain me to preach the gospel as He called me to, until I gave up this addiction to His power.
It’s amazing, as God gives them revelation as to what to pray for. One of them even reached out to me to tell me the Lord wants me to remain sexually pure, speaking to my past struggles, and ministering to me about God’s call on my life.
It was overwhelming. How could this person know, except God reveal it? I had not even yet told them about it. God was going to make sure I was 100 percent accountable.
The reason I share this testimony is because I am convinced that we so often only see the surface of others lives and we tend to try to size them up on that tip of the iceberg.
I wonder if Kirk Franklin would have remained in bondage for so long had those in the church been more loving and merciful? I ask the same about myself.
I wonder how many of us, instead of harshly judging others on the surface, ever take the time to really to try to find out for ourselves what life really looks and feels like to the one we judge. I wonder if we ever pray for that person rather than slandering that person.
Do we often enough reach out to encourage that person rather than ridiculing that person?
Kurt Franklin said that fear of all of the above kept him from ever wanting to admit his addiction. All the same reasons I failed to reach out too.
I was not married, such as Franklin, but it did destroy the trust relationship I had with the woman I loved and had planned to marry.
It is proof that holding on to secret sins is never worth it, even if we assume we are not ‘hurting anyone”. Sin always has consequences for us and for those who love and trust us.
Hope someone is blessed by my testimony and, whatever your addiction might be, if you have one, please choose to seek God’s help and the support of someone who is mature in the Lord.
Freedom from all addictions (i.e., bitterness, wrath, envy, sexual sin, etc) is freedom indeed!